Malacology

-or-
why I love Science
​

consider snail sex: first, they are hermaphroditic,
so, good for them, and some have a cephalic 
penis, of course they do, it can’t very well do
its job if its under the shell, so they get to watch
themselves, well, they do if their eyes are where I think
they are, or aren’t they on stalks, so, two: apparently
some snails are appellate, which in this case
means "without a penis" rather than something about
the court system, and three: some gastropods, 
namely slugs, which I do not like to touch, (gee,
maybe this is why they have all that slime,) can 
line up male female female male and so on, 
(I think worms are like this too, apparently some
phallate (good adjective!) flatworms (remember
the two headed guys we produced for the 
microscope?) "penis fence" so who enjoys what?
so four: here is the truly complicated concept 
to wrap my little slime brain around, who gets 
pregnant? Who has to go through that travail?
Sometimes things get stuck, and well, a penis or two 
has to break off, be bitten off by the mate, or perhaps
by the owner of said penis, aye, here’s the rub, (sorry)
perhaps it is better to bite off one’s male parts and get pregnant. . .
or, uh oh, I hear some of them can grow it back, and 
well, gosh, again, who is pregnant here? who’s stuck with
the kids, or just as Aristotle thought of octopi, the penis
is just a forgotten tiny little worm aswim in the hole